Loving yourself when things are going well can be easy, after all you are in the flow, things are going well, there is nothing to worry about and it is easy to believe that we are loved, that the Universe is providing for us, but …
what about when things go wrong? What about when times get tough?
Accidents, losing a job, poor health, our own inner beliefs
can set us back
make us feel that we are not so lovable after all and
if only we had had more self control, done things differently, lived more consciously we could have avoided a particular situation.
Of course sometimes this could be true but the end result is that we have to deal with the situation regardless.
I am a resourceful and well organised person, from an outside point of view I can re-organise my life, I can make the adjustments. However doing this with the minimum inner turmoil is more of a challenge.
Doing this without self criticism, told you so, how could you or that is what you deserve after all is way more difficult. Yesterday I was on the verge of making a mistake, it would have been so easy to slip into old patterns, the euphoria of the day was carrying me, I felt good and high and invincible and ready to take on the world and yet I was tired and not quite thinking straight so I took myself away and rested. I did a Reiki self treatment and calmed down and realised that I was not invincible, I did not have all the answers, I was just me about to make a mistake.
I am just grateful that I took time out to centre again and think about the consequences of my actions and the motivations behind them. Now I need to work on self acceptance and meeting my needs in a healthier way. Welcome to everyday life.